Him and her. Those two just met but they somehow built a strong connection in such a short time. Love at first sight? Soulmates? There are many terms that could describe the erratic unexplained relationship that they are slowly building up. She spent all night cleaning, doing her punishment as she accepted it rather than giving an explanation. Her mind was full of questions, full of doubts and full of misunderstandings. Not only was her mind messing up but her emotions were going over bored, she was experiencing an amount of negative emotions all at once; anger, confusion, hate, worry…the list goes on. After she finished the bookstore it was nearly dawn so she went to put away all the cleaning supplies and work on cleaning his jacket, she went further away near the ocean where water supply would be in abundance. She spent a good few hours with whatever detergent she could get her hands on scrubbing the jacket gently, killing off any traces of blood or scent. By the time she was done the sun was already up and nearly shining. She left the jacket out to dry as she sat with her feet dipped on the water just pondering, trying to make the knot in her throat go away or the unexplained pain she felt in her chest.
After the jacket was dried, it was almost noon. She went back to the bookstore, the jacket safely tugged in her arms. She just hugged it close to her as she sat there in the bookstore most of the time hoping a customer would show up so it would distract her from her trail of thoughts. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore, the pain in her chest was just getting heavier and heavier, she needed to see him. She decided to leave the bookstore briefly just to return the jacket; there was no point in her keeping it anyways now that the main reason for her taking it is fulfilled. She walked over to the last place she met him, the place where she thought he was dead and argued with him.
Her heart rate picked up as she neared the place, she reached to knock the door lightly, totally holding her breath. Some part of her hoping he was there, another part of her hoping he wasn’t. When the door opened and he emerged just leaning against it and eyeing her without so much of an expression, she managed to release her breath smiling slightly because of his less tired expression; at least he managed to get some rest since then. After a brief greeting she quickly extended the jacket towards him explaining that she cleaned it and that was totally the reason why she was there, she couldn’t look into his eyes or stare up at him so she focused on the ground, on anything else other than him. He didn’t take his jacket instantly but he used his fingers over her chin to direct her gaze upon his and he just stared at her, his eyes full of dept, full of mystery while her own probably confused, hurt and frustrated gaze looked back at him. She didn’t understand what he was doing, or what he was doing it, why was he causing her heart to react this way. He finally took his fingers away to grab the jacket giving her a single word of thanks; she took her gaze away from his and tried to pick up her breathless state.
She quickly tried to bring in a little more conversation since the silence was deafening. She told him that it wasn’t a problem and it’s always good to get rid of bad scents. She also asked him how he was feeling. He told her he was in the house all night, which means he was resting and that made her glad. When he asked her how she was, she felt like perhaps now was the right time to tell him what was on her mind, but she had no clue what was in her mind, all she knows is she wished her temper didn’t set loose on him that day so she said she was sorry and she had no right, very hesitantly, very carefully she formed it into words. She began to feel that sensation of tears that were poking at her eyes, she focused very hard on the wood the house was made of, she didn’t dare to look at him. She just focused on one spot on the wooden door hoping it would stop her from the tearing sensation. Someone always told her that if you focus well enough on a single spot, it would help you prevent tears from oozing out.
He moved closer to her invading her personal space, just standing before her letting his hands move across her arms until it reached her shoulders. He gently cuffed them as he told her that they both said too much and his world is far too cramped up with similar nights like the one he had, it became his way of living. She couldn’t help but tear her gaze away from that spot she was focusing on just to look up at him, that was a big mistake because a thin layer of tears began to cover her eyes as she kept her gaze up at him shivering slightly from his touch though remaining frozen and just listening to his words. She knew what he meant, his life of fighting alone, she didn’t like it at all, she wanted to say so many things but she didn’t dare for any word she might utter would cause her to begin tearing up, she didn’t even know why she felt like crying. Maybe crying is just a means of cleansing the soul when you are our of words. His words didn’t help ease the tears so she lowered her gaze just to allow the tears that were fighting to come out to flow freely down her cheeks. She didn’t make a sound, just stood there close to him with his hand on her shoulders, her head bent down and glistening tears flowing down. He brought his hand from her shoulders towards her cheeks cuffing them gently as he used his thumbs on either side to wipe away the flowing tears while he guided her brown gaze to meet his own green orbs. The words ‘I’m sorry’ came out from his lips as he sighed which caused her heart to crush, she quickly tried to say ‘no’ but it came out hoarsely due to her crying so she cleared her throat silently then told him it wasn’t his fault, he shouldn’t be sorry. She brought her hands over his on her cheeks just to lower them down and away from her.
She didn’t want to be vulnerable before him, she didn’t want to cry in front of him nor did she want her heart to feel this aching sensation. He insisted that it was his fault because he can’t be what they wanted him to be and his existence is set, his path clear in his eyes. He also told her that the vampire he attacked is weakened and would be off his trail for a bit, so she shouldn’t worry. She was quick to tell him that it wasn’t his fault and he shouldn’t change who he is nor would she try to change him if he is happy as he is. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her forehead which caused her eyes to widen slightly, her cheeks to blush deeply and her heart rate to go even more erratic then it already was within his presence. He remained in that position with his lips brushing against her forehead on the spot he kissed. He said he didn’t want to hurt her, she shouldn’t allow her feelings to follow someone like him, someone who teases death day after day. He lowered his forehead into hers on that same spot he kissed as he stared into her eyes. She stared back at him intently then told him that him or her can’t control how she felt and he should know that he isn’t alone anymore, whether he likes it or not. He gave up, he knew he couldn’t convince her to stay away so he told her to be careful then he moved away from her. She composed herself, told him she is always careful then went on a rant about the feline imp and her brother getting along. The situation turned from awkward to slightly comfortable as they chatted for a bit before she had to go back to the store before her brother finds out she wasn’t doing her shift.
As she made her way back to the book store with thoughts of him lingering in the back of her mind, she decided it was best to remain in the shadows, she will watch over him secretly as well as help her pack and continue living for the pack. She realized her behavior was not acceptable; she was always the calm beta despite her rough training to live up to everyone’s expectations. Even though she knew Aeon was going to take over her spot she would still be the guardian of the higher ranks of the pack. She had to get herself back in gear and in the right attitude. First of all, she needed to do a little investigation of her own about the vampires that exist in the city then she would give her brother a full report as well as apologize to him. She was always supposed to live only for the pack, that guy coming along and crossing her path wasn’t supposed to make her evade from what she was brought up for, but her thoughts wouldn’t stop being filled with thoughts of him, the lingering feeling of his lips over her forehead and the intensity of the gazes they held with each other was something hard for her to let go off.