It’s been a while since I felt inspired to write something down here that wasn’t a poem or a story. I guess, I am more comfortable reaching out with indirect words and wonderful stories than I am with actually writing an article or a rant as most people call it now a days, or actually, this is sort of what blogging is all about, right? Just…talking…to people you don’t really know or maybe just talking to yourself because no one probably really reads this. *Inserts some laughing in the background* Anyways, going back to the title. I reached a point in my life where I kind of stripped myself off the sugar coating (Funny Fact: I used to spell sugar coating as ‘Sugar QUOTING’, until someone corrected me, damn, isn’t that funny? Probably not >.>) Yeah, as I was saying, I know, I am annoying, stop reading if you’re getting annoyed of my A.D.D moving from one topic to another bullshit. Okay, I promise, sticking to the topic now!
I have no regrets what so ever! Yes! I just yelled that out. Okay, I do have some regrets here and there, like hurting people I so don’t want to hurt, but, that was all because of my own stupidity and perhaps lack of thinking and empathy. I have this bad habit of just acting on impulse without thinking how it would affect others around me, I tend to hurt the one who is most precious to me and end up pleasing the ones who don’t give a shit, how sad is that? But that is a whole other issue all together. When I say I have no regrets, what I really mean is the path I chose in my life, where I am right now. Sure, it ain’t all that, but this is where I am, this is how far I got and I am still moving, or I’d like to think I am still moving, even if for the last few years I seem to be in the same position, people say I am still young, 22 years (going 23) is not a lot and I am still progressing but I have seen a lot of people my age and even younger than me achieve much more, some of them have their own house, have stable jobs, some of them even have kids and have settled down. But I realized I shouldn’t compare myself to anyone, we’re all different people, and we’re all unique. I look back and I tend to ask myself, do I regret making that decision? Sure, sometimes, something inside me tells me, “YES, you dumbass, you shouldn’t have done that!” but then again something else inside me slaps that thought and says, “Nope, that was the right choice, now look how you’ve changed for the better.”
People change a lot, no one can remain constant, it is just not possible according to me and according to science (Duh!). We all grow; if we stop growing then there is obviously a problem. All our growth process, physical, mental and thinking patterns change. Of course I am speaking of this from my point of view, not saying it is absolute. I just felt like talking about people here because lately I have been getting rid of people in my life that I can’t stand to be around any longer. I just reached a breaking point where I am totally tired of people’s inventive drama. There is a difference between having a real problem or just creating a problem. Others just show you their true colors and you realize what they truly are to the point it makes it hard for you to trust them again that you just want to run away. I thought running away and leaving them would make me a bad person. I lived with a mindset that I want people to be happy, I still do live with that mindset, and it is part of me that I can’t get rid of that easily, but I am working on trying to make those important people happy, those who deserve it. I know I am not perfect. I have hurt people that don’t deserve it, but when I realize what I have done, I do try my best to fix it. I do have a lot of flaws, but at least I admit them to some extent and don’t point my fingers. I just wish people would say things to my face and stop beating around the bushes. Got a problem? Got a question? Ask me, not our common friend.
I have no regrets for the people I said goodbye to in my life so far. It ain’t that they are bad people; it is just that I am tired of bullshit. If someone told me goodbye, I’d wish them good luck genuinely and respect their decision, sometimes people are not meant to be with you forever. The memories will always remain though, the memories which are worth remembering if there are any at all. And with that, I leave you with this quote!
If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello. – Paulo Coehlo.