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I guess it has come to the point where I have no idea what to do with myself. I want to write, but I don’t want to write. I want to interact with other bloggers, yet I feel like they are all in their own little corners and most of the successful bloggers don’t really interact much with ‘random’ people commenting on their post or article. This isn’t even what I intended to write when I wrote the title of this post. I intended to announce that I want to close this blog. What is the point of keeping something around that is going unnoticed and just consuming more memory of free blogs. Maybe there is something else eating me on my mind that I chose to focus on something that isn’t so important because I fear to face the more important things that are bothering me within. There is no one to blame of course for my moods but myself. There are just those days when I feel numb and there is a pain around my chest that is swirling around and poking me (Liliannnnn, give us attention…cry…be misrable…be lonely!! [And I say, SHUT UPPPPP….]) surprisingly writing actually gets rid of the pain. I have so many questions. But no accurate answer for these type of questions.

Why do I write?

Why do you get inspired by people who don’t even know you?

Why do I have days when I feel like I want to go on writing every nonsense that comes to my mind?

What is more tragic? Not being able to love someone else or losing the one you love?

Why does life seem dull on the outside yet a huge turmoil within?

Do you have to replace your one true love to love someone else? 

What the hell does a soulmate mean really? 

Why is it hard to start the first sentence of a story you plan to write?

Why can’t people just blame themselves for their faults instead of finding someone else to blame? 

Is it so hard for a person to stick to their priorities? If you can’t stick to something, then it means you are lying about your priorities in the first place. 

Will I ever be able to reach my dreams? (Or find them…..-.-) 

Can I get a hug? One of those really tight hugs! (Random random randommm!)

Why am I such a confusing soul? (Do I even have a soul?! [DUH!])

One thing I am certain off is, I will never stop writing. I will keep on writing, it doesn’t matter if no one gets to read it. But I can just go back and read it. Just me and my notes against the world. I am going to be clearing this blog probably when I have more courage and get myself organized. If I don’t clear it then maybe I will just post poems and stories or whatever the hell I feel like posting or sharing. I have posted so many things to see this blog go. Sure, I don’t post every single thing I have written, but this blog contains 95% of everything I have written (Minus this mini notebook of love notes [Like everyday lovey talks..yah how mushyyy blahhhh] I wrote for my ex back in 2009..that wasn’t an ex at the time…oh wow random thoughts for the win..oh and yeah..he ended up having to burn that mini book of love thoughts [it even had chapters!!!!!] he got rid of it because it is haram according to islam to have lovey dovey stuff before marraige..{*dies laughing*} No I am seriously not kidding….)

Back to what I was saying. So, not really goodbye forever…just goodbye for now!!!! [Thank you my double conscience guru…>.>]

*Zoooms around* 

-Yeah I know I am a random weirdo. Sue me!!-

*Plays really loud music*

(Some nice slightly loud music)

(Kind of slow..sad..medium..well I leave these playing when I crawl undermy blanket.)